Secret Journal

I found this reading incredibly interesting. Early on in the reading, I really connected with the author and the emotions he felt. I understood what he said about wanting to die young because he didn't want to watch himself deteriorate like he saw his grandparents deteriorate. I have volunteered in multiple nursing homes, and at times the thought and desire of wanting to die young had also passed my mind. Watching people not being able to take care of themselves to the point that they needed to be fed, washed, and dressed. Multiple times through my experiences the thought had definitely crossed my mind that I wanted to die before I could no longer take care of myself. However, as the story progresses, it becomes terrifying yet intriguing where Pierre Drieu La Rochelle's "obsession" with dying young leads him to begin experimenting with cutting at the age of seven, which slowly turns into a habit. Although, La Rochelle becomes terrified at the idea of committing suicide when he tries to take this cutting too far, it becomes clear that the motif for killing one's self doesn't necessarily have to deal with hating one's life. Towards the end of the journal entry, I find it interesting how Rochelle describes his "strong wish for death" in religious terms. I have previously taken some theology classes, especially in Hinduism, so I found Rochelle's use of the concepts of detachment and karma fascinating. Although he wants to die, he isn't "detached" or "mature" enough to commit suicide and die. Also, he fears karma will cause him to relapse because again he was not "detached" from the natural world.

In terms of style, I enjoyed the casual, personal tone of this piece. Like what Anatasia said, there is something different about reading texts which are extremely personal. The text was definitely a easy read due to its tone compared to what it could have been if it was in a more formal tone.