On Secret Journal So Far...

I have read the first 11 pages of this and I am intrigued by the characters insistent desire to take his life. Initially, he states reasons why it is nonsensical and illogical for him to even fathom such an action but eventually attempts taking his own life several times. I think that him taking his life, or at least wanting to take his life is synonymous with the endurance necessary to deal with the struggles of life. What I mean by that is this; the main character apparently has issues and problems with certain events that occur in his life such as a meaningless war and stagnant relationships that result in adultery. He is simultaneously drawn to thought and desire of him taking his life and disturbed by the fact that these thoughts continue to persist while he has still not yet carried out his dark desires. I think it is also very important to consider his religious affiliation and the emphasis the author assigned to that information about the main character. His thoughts on an immortal soul coincide with his desires to kill himself because he realizes that his soul will still continue to be as his material existence because "what has begun must continue".